change my sleeping pattern

I never thought I would be self-defeating. For me sleep has always been a challenge in my adult life. I became accustomed to getting every ounce of sleep I could muster whenever that may be. But I was wrong in my futile attempts at sleep. Linda, my drug dealer, well not really but she writes my prescriptions for me, she said I had bad sleep habits. I argued that I didn't because I would go to sleep at the same time every night, I took my meds as I was supposed to and I tried to wake up every day at the same time. Well, I may have been doing all that but I was sabotaging myself too. I would wake up in the morning and take Ariel to school and then come home and go back to bed. Mistake #1 then midday I would take a nap Mistake #2 then I would take my medicine RIGHT WHEN I wanted to go to sleep Mistake #3. So here is what I have done.

For the last few days that I have been home from work I have been forcing myself to stay awake during the day. No going back to bed. I can lay in bed, read in bed, play on my computer in bed but not sleep. This has been a challenge since I get obred and have nothing to fucking do. So I have been downloading and watching movies and music. This makes me happy because now I have a whole bunch of music on the iTunes and onto my iPod. What I did was took all my favorites that I listen to all the time and put them on my iPhone. Then i erased all the old music from my iPod and replaced it with new music that I haven't listened to yet to screen and see if I like it. Then I will take the songs I like and put them onto my iPhone to go into rotation. YAY for music!

Next....no afternoon naps and if I do nap only limited to one hour. I only took one nap in the last 5 days and it was precisely one hour and a few minutes depending on what clock you were looking at. This seem easy enough if I keep myself busy.

Now here comes the hard part. I have to eat dinner at 6pm and take my medicine at 7pm for it to work. I had been taking my medicine whenever I was ready to go to bed so it took that much longer for it to take affect and I would lay in bed tossing and turning. I went to bed last night a little after 9:30pm and didn't have to take Trazadone to knock me out. I was so proud of myself. Then this morning I was up before the fourteenth alarm clock went off and actually outta bed by 7:30am. Miraculous! I don't feel tired. Well this morning just a little bit. But I gotta get moving and find something to do. Yesterday, I went food shopping. I didn't know if Iyishia was going to have her car so I took the bus immediately after dropping Ariel off for school. I lounged around the supermarket looking at everything just cruising down the aisles and low and behold there was Iyishia. God sent her to me! I was amazed and stupified. So she gave me a ride home. When I got home not only did I put the groceries away but I cleaned the entire kitchen and straightened up....then went back to downloading stuff for the rest of the day.

So I guess the secret is....stay awake during the day even if I don't want to. If I take a nap limit it to only one hour (unless I am ill), take my meds soon after eating dinner which should be somewhere around the hour of 7pm and get to bed early so I can wake up in the morning.

I am not tired more than I am bored. My body is saying Fuck it go back to bed and my brain is saying sounds good but that's a bad idea. So I guess for once I have to listen to my brain (and Linda) and stay awake. I'm gonna call Iyishia later when I am done with this round of downloads and see if she will pick me up to hang out. That will give me something to do.

Well that's my observation of self and entry for today. Happy sleeping!