Can you hear the blood dripping from my broken heart?

Well it's been almost 48 hours since I heard from John. I bought hockey tickets for tonight's game vs the Phantoms and I guess one is gonna go to waste. I got on Twitter and on the phone trying to find anyone who may be interested in going. Not even to recoup the ticket just if they wanna go. This has me quite upset because I hate to waste things. I am even more upset that I haven't heard form him. There are a few options here.
Option #1=he never wants to see me again and is using the if I don't contact her eventually she will go away technique.
Option #2=he got really bad news from his dr appt and has reclused in his home and doesn't want to talk to anyone namely me.
Option #3=he lost his phone and doesn't know my number by heart. (lord knows I have no idea what his phone number is either)
Option #4=doesn't want to celebrate his birthday. But if that was the case, he could have called yesterday so that goes back to Options 2+3
Option #5= He is seeing someone else and is giving them 100% of his attention. Goes back to Option #1
Option #6=I have no fucking idea....that's all I got.

I wanna believe option 2 or 3....I really hope it is not Option 2 because that would mean he is sick. So, I wanna believe that it is option 3 because then I can see not having a couple hundred dollars laying around to buy  new iPhone.

So me and Ariel are going to hockey tonight. We had a steak dinner (intended birthday dinner) and we are going to have a good time. Ariel earned her ticket through school and so I am not going to deprive her of her night. I tried all my power to find someone to fill the now empty seat but maybe I will find someone at the stadium that needs a ticket. I am borrowing Iyishia's car so I don't have to worry about carfare so I will have taxi money for Friday morning to get to work.

This hurts my heart. My heart is breaking and he doesn't even know it. I fell too hard too fast. The thought that there was someone for me was so appealing and seductive. And now I am just hurting. This fucking sucks. In light of all my pain, I still hope that he is okay.

Off to Mohegan Sun Arena formerly known as Wachovia Arena formerly known as First Union Arena.....and the hits keep coming.