Tuesday Jan 19 thru Saturday Jan 23rd

Saturday January 23, 2010


This week has been great and I know I slack off when I am with John. Tuesday when I got home, I cleaned cleaned cleaned. I cleaned Ariel’s room even though I said I wasn’t going to do it; I did it anyway. I did it because I needed to get her back to square one. Then from square one, you can maintain it from there.

When I am with John, time stands still. I dedicate my time to our relationship. We have a limited amount of time together and time apart. So, when we are together, we spend time together and nothing else. We are starting to include Ariel into our relationship. Our interactions are limited with her. Mostly, we spend our time while she is in school. We want to include Mackenzie in to mix but unfortunately, she was sick this week with the stomach flu.

But let’s start from the beginning….since I have deviated….shame on me…..

Tuesday I got home early since I asked the Old Forge bus driver to call the #12 driver (Bill) and hold him on the square so I can catch the bus. I actually made coffee at work and took a carry cup on the bus with me. I have dove right back into my caffeine habit with coffee. I am a caffeine addict and readily admit that. Like I need anything else to keep me from sleeping. No training this week with Ritchie because he was doing a training in NJ. So I cleaned the 2nd floor. I changed all my bedding, did countless loads of laundry and cleaned Ariels’ room and cleaned the bathroom. Other than that Tuesday was pretty uneventful. John was at work after 5:30pm and texted and called me intermittently. I look forward to his calls and texts. Finally, I fell asleep.

On Wednesday, of course I was tired, I cleaned the kitchen. I lost my bet on the football game last weekend so I had to cook for John. After cleaning the kitchen, I went food shopping with Iyishia. Somehow, I ended up with three ½ gallons of milk. (only later to find out one was almost empty and spoiled Saturday morning) I have been paying attention to John and so I had decided to make scallops and steak with mashed potatoes. He said he was a steak and potatoes man. He emphasized that he likes mashed potatoes. When we met and went for lunch at Red Lobster, he had scallops and mentioned they were his favorite. Now I have food in the house. Iyishia was making fun of me because she says I need to learn to make a Mac and cheese homemade. I actually like plain old blue box Kraft Mac n cheez. Always have. I made pork chops for dinner. I finally hooked up with TJ and got my back colored in. I thought it would be more pastels but it is primary colors. It still looks great but not really what I wanted. Now after having it just blackwork, I think maybe I should have just left it black. Oh well. So here is where the drama begins. I didn’t think I would ever have to deal with the subject of stealing with my daughter but apparently I did.

As we were leaving TJ’s house after my tattoo was complete, I found a brand new in the package lip gloss on the carpet. I asked Ariel about it and she said it was not hers. I know it wasn’t there before because Tj’s house was profoundly clean. I asked her repeatedly about it and she denied it and I shrugged it off but had a feeling in my gut she was lying. Maybe it was TJ’s sons’ girlfriends or something but I doubted that. When we got home, she dropped a gold lip gloss on the floor of the front room. Well now I am pissed because she lyed to me and now there is another lip gloss. Finally, she admitted she took it from CVS so off to CVS we go for a scared straight lesson. Of course the employees of CVS have a median age of 21 so I ask for the manager and out comes yet another young kid. In any event, I had to do this. So I asked them what they do to people who steal. They replied thyat they call the Plymouth Police. I asked Ariel if I should have them call the police and she said No and was crying. A lady that had just finished checking out while I waited pats me on the back and says I am a good mother. I sure hope so. All I can say is I am heartbroken. I had done the same thing when I was a kid except I stole a cool pen. Yes, a pen. I like stationary and art supplies. What can I say? I suppose every kid does it but I wasn’t prepared for it to happen just yet. Ok, so just when I think the drama has ended and I send Ariel to her room to get ready for bed, I took out the trash. On my way back into the house I spot YET ANOTHER vial of lip gloss. Now I am absolutely livid! I gave her a chance to come clean! I asked her fourteen different ways from the time we left TJ’s house if it was hers and she still didn’t come clean. So I go upstairs and face the music. I confront Ariel YET AGAIN and she finally comes clean. She better because I don’t know if I could handle anymore. I asked her what her punishment should be and she said Grounded. I asked what does grounded mean. She said no TV and no DS. I asked her for how long and she said TEN. Ten what? Ten days, months, years, weeks? Ten Days of no TV or DS. So John and I are supposed to take the girls bowling on Friday. What are we going to do? I spanked her. Seven for every year of age and 3 more for lying to me three different times. I hate spanking her and can’t recall the last time I did. I think it hurts me more than anything but what else to do? It’s the only thing that resonates inside of her. We will see.

John called and I had to calm down. He talked me down. I told him what happened and he said I have a right to be upset. I still needed to calm down. He asked if he should call back later. NO. I needed him to distract me so my blood pressure would go down. And he did. Don’t ask me what was said because I don’t even remember at this point. All I know is that I will see him on Thursday and that is probably what had me distracted. I miss my man.

I went to bed rather early. I took a nice big fat sleeping pill because I wanted to be on my best game for spending time with John. I like hearing his voice good night and then waking me up in the morning. He showed up around 10am and we hung out for a bit before going out to Ollie’s for brunch. The rest of the day is a blur until dinner. I know I helped Ariel with her homework and science project. I made scallops and Delmonico steak and homemade mashed potatoes for dinner. It came out great. I was making a wine sauce but I didn’t like how it came out so I scraped it. He didn’t have any clothes or anything so he didn’t stay. Friday was a different story.

When he came over on Friday, we had plans to take the kids bowling. Mackenzie is sick with the stomach flu so we didn’t go get her. We went to Ollie’s again for brunch and when we got back we were chilling on the couch but I would rather lay down on my bed. The rest is history. Dessert time! We went at it for a few hours and then he took a nap while I went to get Ariel. Again, I helped her with her homework and science project. I had to get stuff for the animals and stuff for Ariel’s project so we went out to get it. I bought one of those automatic watering dishes for the cats so they don’t have to drink from my bamboo plant. They are bound to break my vase and I will be pissed. Also, I bought Ringo’s food and a treat. Well, we could go bowling or call it a night. We should have called it a night. But, we went bowling anyway. There were so many little kids there running around like banchees acting stupid. It was a league night and all the kids of the league bowlers were all over the place. I couldn’t concentrate and ended up bowling a high of 50. That is horrible. Ariel beat me. She had bumpers but she still beat me. We ran into Mary Roberts at the bowling alley. One more example of how people don’t watch their kids. Adam, Heather’s boyfriend, was bowling on a league and totally wasn’t paying attention to her or her location so she stayed with us. I can’t help but feel responsible for kids. I hate to see anything bad happen to kids at the stupidity of adults.

We came home and I fed the animals and set them up for me being away for the weekend. We waited until Iyishia got home from a birthday party and dropped off Ariel and dropped off money. John stayed the night. He had clothes etc so he slept over. It was nice having a big human in bed with me. He is the first to christen my bed and man to sleep in my bed. Still, it was nice.

Woke up on time to him kissing my neck and took my shower. He made coffee for me. That’s how I want to wake up all the time. He is a pop tart in the morning. I am totally not a morning person so he will definitely carry me in the morning. He drove me to work. I didn’t want to go. I hate to think that it will be whole week until we see each other again. If I had a car I would spend more time. Even if it meant driving out to Catawissa just to sleep together and have coffee in the morning before he left for work. But here is this no car thing and it sucks. I have to pay my fines and get a new car. As soon as I get those fines paid I am going to go back to Northeast Auto Credit and get another car. I just gotta pay those fines.

Work is work and a long day it was. No physical therapy to break up the day and leave the house. So now it is nebulizer treatments and home physical therapy to break up the day. His daughter is such a bitch! I know in my heart of hearts that she means well but she needs to relax. We did exercises and all our stuff and she comes and he is in his chair. It just happens to be when she shows up that he is in his recliner. And then I gotta hear her mouth. I wonder if Earl gets it like I do. I wonder how he handles it? Earl said that his brother in law may be giving me a ride home on Monday morning. That would be great. I could be home by 8:35am. I would be willing to pay him in gas money. He has to go back to Wilkes Barre anyway! He might as well get a little cash for it. I can’t get a taxi to come and pick me up without paying outrageous prices. So, I take the bus. But if I could get a ride, that’s even better.

I had to wake Mario up to put him to bed. I spoke to John and went to bed by 9:30pm. I am starting to go to bed on time so I don’t feel so shitty in the morning. I still feel like shit today but I think it is out of boredom. I try my best to stay awake but who wants to watch someone sleep? That’s what it boils down to. John is gonna let me use his wireless card for my computer so I can do my CEU’s for my EMT license online while I am here at Mario’s house. That would be great. It leaves my options open. I know that Arlene, Mario’s daughter, doesn’t want to see him in the hospital or a nursing home, but if he declines and does get admitted I need to have options. Hopefully, it won’t come to that until minimum April because then I can get my CNA training and my options will be open for real. I want my EMT license reinstated though. I want lots of options.

So I guess we are caught up now. Until tomorrow….