Never to far away from Ariel
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
A poem by Me
Like a sunflower to light
Time bestows strength and might
A life life righteous and true
Brings luck and love to you
So just wait out the days
And make your mistakes along the way
So when fated paths cross that day
You will be ready to begin again
Me
Time bestows strength and might
A life life righteous and true
Brings luck and love to you
So just wait out the days
And make your mistakes along the way
So when fated paths cross that day
You will be ready to begin again
Me
Here we are...
I hope I'm not obsessing or boring anyone with my banter but honestly I have nothing else going on. My life is pretty boring and this is the most exciting thing that has happened besides Xmas and that was pretty quiet and uneventful. Welcome to my life. This is exciting as it gets.
So 9am appointment and of course I oversleep. I almost was late dropping Ariel off for school. 8:20 and we are flying out the door. On the way out John texted me Good Morning. Battery dead. He is delayed charging it up. YES! My salvation! I get to shower with ease. Won't be here until 10-10:30am and stopping in Berwick to take care of paperwork. I appreciate the phone call. Again, a topic of discussion from yeterday. Being stood up and not calling. He was good enough to text and say he would be late "but still coming". I even had time to straighten my hair and not do the wild thing today. I need a haircut BAD! Maybe I will see if Jenna can cut my hair tomorrow or Thursday. Also gotta make an appointment to get my shot.
John showed up at around 10:30am as noted and brought his laptop. We set up his iTunes, synced his phone, backed it up and he is ready to go. It was pretty quick because he doesn't have much on his phone because he wasn't able to download anything without an itunes account. Then a crash course into his iPhone. He showed me pix of his new motorcycle. He is signing the title and paperwork tomorrow and maybe delivered? I don't know. We went to lunch. We were gonna go to Applebee's but eyed the chinese buffet along the way. We went to enter and got turned away at the door! Power outage! I guess someone didn't pay their electric bill because the other businesses on the strip were unaffected. Planet fitness would be hit hard if that was the case and they are immediately adjacent to the restaurant. So we went to the one across the way by PriceChopper. Food was good and we were hungry. I was sooo full. I could have seriously taken a nap right then! We went back to the house and watched a movie. If anyone wants to know a review for the movie "Doubt" DONT DO IT! unless you are really bored, need a 2 hour nap or have watched everything else and ran out of options. But we both muddled through it. Lol. By the time the movie was over it was pretty much time to get Ariel. So we went to pick her up at Asia's. We came back and I had a training over at Iyishia's she texted me earlier and John waitied til I found out what time it was just in case I needed a ride. That was sweet. Training wasn't until 6:30pm so Iyishia was gonna pick us up at 6pm. good amount of time to get dinner in Ariel and then head out. I sent her to change out of her school clothes and John and I were alone again. Another kiss. Arms wrapped. Longer. Still soft. Not aggressive. Nice. And a peck for the road. I told him I would be done by 8-8:30pm and I was. Presentation by Hunter Gray from the Palm Springs convention. He is such a great public speaker. He is young and vibrant. He makes me happy. Makes training fly by. He texted me as I was trying to get out the door. Freakin' Ted and Ritchie are the two slowest things around! If it was Iyishia I would've been home by then. But these are the things I have to deal with since I dont have a car. Dependant on others unfortunately. We text back and forth til I got home and no sooner did I walk in the door he called. Faster than texting. Good timing too! We spoke for a ittle bit and then the sand man caught a grip on him. Past his bedtime.
So I watched the rest of the Penguins game 5-2 win. Nice third quarter that I caught! Awesome two hat tricks. Staahl was on fire! John is going to the Pens game tomorrow night. I wish I was going and in the luxury box too! Fantastic! Hopefully it will be on tv so I can at least watch the game. I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING besides possibly making appointments tomorrow because Ariel has school and then Bible school on Wednesdays. John is carpooling with the group from work so I won't be able to see him tomorrow. But we have the same off days next week. So we can see each other on Monday? He goes back to work on Thursday third shift 12 hour swing. Rough! I go back to work on Friday and we both get off for Monday and all week! Sweet. I think we have potential...
So here I am pouring my life out. No one else to listen. Iyishia is happy for me but is so hung up with her pregnancy and drama with Ritchie to pay much attention. Maybe I can hang out with her tomorrow and chat. We haven't hung out since Christmas. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend her New Year's Party. I wish I could have but I had already commited to working.
I hope somebody finds this all useful or at minimum entertaining. This is the story of my life. Hopefully this will be a better year. Its starting off good! More to come with good faith
Good night!
So 9am appointment and of course I oversleep. I almost was late dropping Ariel off for school. 8:20 and we are flying out the door. On the way out John texted me Good Morning. Battery dead. He is delayed charging it up. YES! My salvation! I get to shower with ease. Won't be here until 10-10:30am and stopping in Berwick to take care of paperwork. I appreciate the phone call. Again, a topic of discussion from yeterday. Being stood up and not calling. He was good enough to text and say he would be late "but still coming". I even had time to straighten my hair and not do the wild thing today. I need a haircut BAD! Maybe I will see if Jenna can cut my hair tomorrow or Thursday. Also gotta make an appointment to get my shot.
John showed up at around 10:30am as noted and brought his laptop. We set up his iTunes, synced his phone, backed it up and he is ready to go. It was pretty quick because he doesn't have much on his phone because he wasn't able to download anything without an itunes account. Then a crash course into his iPhone. He showed me pix of his new motorcycle. He is signing the title and paperwork tomorrow and maybe delivered? I don't know. We went to lunch. We were gonna go to Applebee's but eyed the chinese buffet along the way. We went to enter and got turned away at the door! Power outage! I guess someone didn't pay their electric bill because the other businesses on the strip were unaffected. Planet fitness would be hit hard if that was the case and they are immediately adjacent to the restaurant. So we went to the one across the way by PriceChopper. Food was good and we were hungry. I was sooo full. I could have seriously taken a nap right then! We went back to the house and watched a movie. If anyone wants to know a review for the movie "Doubt" DONT DO IT! unless you are really bored, need a 2 hour nap or have watched everything else and ran out of options. But we both muddled through it. Lol. By the time the movie was over it was pretty much time to get Ariel. So we went to pick her up at Asia's. We came back and I had a training over at Iyishia's she texted me earlier and John waitied til I found out what time it was just in case I needed a ride. That was sweet. Training wasn't until 6:30pm so Iyishia was gonna pick us up at 6pm. good amount of time to get dinner in Ariel and then head out. I sent her to change out of her school clothes and John and I were alone again. Another kiss. Arms wrapped. Longer. Still soft. Not aggressive. Nice. And a peck for the road. I told him I would be done by 8-8:30pm and I was. Presentation by Hunter Gray from the Palm Springs convention. He is such a great public speaker. He is young and vibrant. He makes me happy. Makes training fly by. He texted me as I was trying to get out the door. Freakin' Ted and Ritchie are the two slowest things around! If it was Iyishia I would've been home by then. But these are the things I have to deal with since I dont have a car. Dependant on others unfortunately. We text back and forth til I got home and no sooner did I walk in the door he called. Faster than texting. Good timing too! We spoke for a ittle bit and then the sand man caught a grip on him. Past his bedtime.
So I watched the rest of the Penguins game 5-2 win. Nice third quarter that I caught! Awesome two hat tricks. Staahl was on fire! John is going to the Pens game tomorrow night. I wish I was going and in the luxury box too! Fantastic! Hopefully it will be on tv so I can at least watch the game. I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING besides possibly making appointments tomorrow because Ariel has school and then Bible school on Wednesdays. John is carpooling with the group from work so I won't be able to see him tomorrow. But we have the same off days next week. So we can see each other on Monday? He goes back to work on Thursday third shift 12 hour swing. Rough! I go back to work on Friday and we both get off for Monday and all week! Sweet. I think we have potential...
So here I am pouring my life out. No one else to listen. Iyishia is happy for me but is so hung up with her pregnancy and drama with Ritchie to pay much attention. Maybe I can hang out with her tomorrow and chat. We haven't hung out since Christmas. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend her New Year's Party. I wish I could have but I had already commited to working.
I hope somebody finds this all useful or at minimum entertaining. This is the story of my life. Hopefully this will be a better year. Its starting off good! More to come with good faith
Good night!
Almost caught up!
Well I got home right around 9. I had 2 hours to deal with....until he called. He was coming early! Aw crap! So I jumped in the shower and got busy. I packed up my stuff to take down to Allentown and see what was up with that. Didn't have time to really do my hair so it did the wild thing yesterday.
So he showed up around 10:15-10:30am...not too bad just a little early. He came in briefly and checked out Ringo and the boys and off to Allentown we went. I haven't been to Allentown in a while but we got directions to the mall from the turnpike attendent. Pretty straight forward. We got there just before 11:45am. Couldn't check in until 12noon so we went a wandering til we could check in. So we went to the Williams Sonoma store. Right up my alley! I could stare at kitchen gadgets all day and feel up the rubber spatula and be in heaven. I would have sat there and read cookbooks all day and took notes. LOL!
Well, I check in and get seen promptly at my appointed time. Bonus points for Apple. The tech tried to sync my phone and looked up my case in the computer and that was it! He handed me a brand new iPhone. Not a refurbished one. A brand new one! I definitely love and swear by Apple now. So I had an empty phone but a new one. I had to wait til I got home to put all my stuff back on my phone from the backup on my computer. John has an iphone but needs help. He can't download stuff becasuse he doesn't have an Apple account set up and hasn't DL i8tunes to his computer. We are gonna have to change that so he can use his phone to what it was intended and not just texts and phone calls. There is a whole world in the iphone. I wouldn't change mine for anything other than a newer model or bigger hard drive.
So we had plenty of time to hang out so we went roaming around the mall in search of a new case for my phone to replace the pink one that truly did its service for the last year and can be retired with pride. I found a silver and purple butterfly one. It's very cute and I made the clerk get one that wasnt chipped from his comrade on the other level. So I got my case for my phone. We roamed around killing time checking out the stores and they had a Disney store. So, of course, I got Ariel a Little Mermaid sweatshirt that has her name on it. John found a cologne/perfume dealer and got a nice deal on a huge bottle of Drakkar. I like that smell. Curve for men too. Makes for weakness in the knees. Lol. We had a lot of time to talk and talk we did. Im so glad he is chatty like me. At least I wasnt the only one doing the talking, like I was talking to myself. It was refreshing. Both of us did listen to the other tho. At least i did. Talked about the kids, ex's, houses, work...pretty much the gambit of ourselves. We did Red Lobster for lunch. I had salmon and shrimp and he had scallops. Take notes Jody...this stuff comes in handy. And Craftsmen tools and a backhoe! Digging holes...We had a nice leisurely ride home and were talking about hot spots and missing the actual nightlife and life in general that living in the city...a real city like NJ and NY. So we went to the Mohegan Sun to check that out. We had time. I have never been there in the 5 years that I have been back from Arizona. And I think they opened right around that time the time that I got back from AZ so it hasnt been around long. Wasn't impressed! All it is is a food court that surrounds a big rottisserie of slot machines. And they allow smoking Yuk! Now smokers can do what they want...I just don't wanna go home smelling like one.John had a cigarette while we were there. Its not easy to quit but he is trying. He said the smell triggered a craving. Only stress bring my crave or should I say my crutch. We were pretty much in and out of there after dumping some cash into a slot machine. I don't know how these people sit there all day. Check day. Senior citizens get their checks at the beginning of the months. No wonder they were pretty busy on a Monday afternoon.
So off to get Ariel...picked her up from Asia's with John and he left from the house. I sent Ariel into the house with the key and I got my kiss. I can work with this. Soft lips. Gentle. Not pushy. Recipricated. Nice. He asked if I was courting anyone else. Nope. No other worthy prospects. Just John. And I'm glad for him. I think there is definite potential. Plans for Tuesday set for 9am...no definitive agenda just a 9am appointment.
And so we are up to date...
So he showed up around 10:15-10:30am...not too bad just a little early. He came in briefly and checked out Ringo and the boys and off to Allentown we went. I haven't been to Allentown in a while but we got directions to the mall from the turnpike attendent. Pretty straight forward. We got there just before 11:45am. Couldn't check in until 12noon so we went a wandering til we could check in. So we went to the Williams Sonoma store. Right up my alley! I could stare at kitchen gadgets all day and feel up the rubber spatula and be in heaven. I would have sat there and read cookbooks all day and took notes. LOL!
Well, I check in and get seen promptly at my appointed time. Bonus points for Apple. The tech tried to sync my phone and looked up my case in the computer and that was it! He handed me a brand new iPhone. Not a refurbished one. A brand new one! I definitely love and swear by Apple now. So I had an empty phone but a new one. I had to wait til I got home to put all my stuff back on my phone from the backup on my computer. John has an iphone but needs help. He can't download stuff becasuse he doesn't have an Apple account set up and hasn't DL i8tunes to his computer. We are gonna have to change that so he can use his phone to what it was intended and not just texts and phone calls. There is a whole world in the iphone. I wouldn't change mine for anything other than a newer model or bigger hard drive.
So we had plenty of time to hang out so we went roaming around the mall in search of a new case for my phone to replace the pink one that truly did its service for the last year and can be retired with pride. I found a silver and purple butterfly one. It's very cute and I made the clerk get one that wasnt chipped from his comrade on the other level. So I got my case for my phone. We roamed around killing time checking out the stores and they had a Disney store. So, of course, I got Ariel a Little Mermaid sweatshirt that has her name on it. John found a cologne/perfume dealer and got a nice deal on a huge bottle of Drakkar. I like that smell. Curve for men too. Makes for weakness in the knees. Lol. We had a lot of time to talk and talk we did. Im so glad he is chatty like me. At least I wasnt the only one doing the talking, like I was talking to myself. It was refreshing. Both of us did listen to the other tho. At least i did. Talked about the kids, ex's, houses, work...pretty much the gambit of ourselves. We did Red Lobster for lunch. I had salmon and shrimp and he had scallops. Take notes Jody...this stuff comes in handy. And Craftsmen tools and a backhoe! Digging holes...We had a nice leisurely ride home and were talking about hot spots and missing the actual nightlife and life in general that living in the city...a real city like NJ and NY. So we went to the Mohegan Sun to check that out. We had time. I have never been there in the 5 years that I have been back from Arizona. And I think they opened right around that time the time that I got back from AZ so it hasnt been around long. Wasn't impressed! All it is is a food court that surrounds a big rottisserie of slot machines. And they allow smoking Yuk! Now smokers can do what they want...I just don't wanna go home smelling like one.John had a cigarette while we were there. Its not easy to quit but he is trying. He said the smell triggered a craving. Only stress bring my crave or should I say my crutch. We were pretty much in and out of there after dumping some cash into a slot machine. I don't know how these people sit there all day. Check day. Senior citizens get their checks at the beginning of the months. No wonder they were pretty busy on a Monday afternoon.
So off to get Ariel...picked her up from Asia's with John and he left from the house. I sent Ariel into the house with the key and I got my kiss. I can work with this. Soft lips. Gentle. Not pushy. Recipricated. Nice. He asked if I was courting anyone else. Nope. No other worthy prospects. Just John. And I'm glad for him. I think there is definite potential. Plans for Tuesday set for 9am...no definitive agenda just a 9am appointment.
And so we are up to date...
Off to a bad start....but definitly good beginnings
I have a lot of excuses but doesnt make it right. Ok the first excuses are valid. I didn't have internet service on Jan 2 & 3 but yesterday was inexcusable. So here we go because we have catching up to do.
Jan 2 & 3
Mario continues to depend on me for getting up. My shoulder really hurts. That's my bad shoulder. I have to talk to his other caregiver and see how he deals with it. Maybe he assists him during the week and he expects it. He definitely deteriorates as the day wears on but that doesnt make it ok. Sunday was a good day. I actually persuaded (with the assistance of his daughter Saturday) to use his cable. I cut out the list of the Comcast cable channels out of the Sunday paper and taped them to the back of the remote so now he knows wht the channels are. Anything but Judge Judy. jeopardy i don't mind but 3 hours of straight judge shows will grate on anyones' nerves. Sunday we watched Goodfellas. It's been forever since I saw that movie and it was a nice refresher. I couldn't believe he actually didn't change the channel ONCE. And he made it through the entire movie! He is usually down for the count shortly after 8pm after flipping some channels. But he was up til 9pm til the very end of the movies. Nice end to a long weekend.
Monday morning flew by. One hour of work and I'm done. I even got to leave early because Earl got a ride to work again. I caught the early bus and took a cab home from the square. I wanted to get home early so I had time to take a leisurely shower and scrub the smell of Mario off me. He doesn't smell or anything and he is always clean but I just want the smell of hsi house off me. I wanna smell like me and my body wash and wrap myself in my nice puffy towels and linger around in my robe for a little bit and not have to rish to get dressed. John said he was an early bird and is up at the crack of dawn. He also said that he would probably be early which means I needed more cushion time to be comfortable. But I am getting ahead of myself.
I spoke to John after I put Mario to bed. It was brief but we discussed our plans for money to take the ride to Allentown. He was determined to send his picture in an email. Well, I looked at the Gmail spot and I couldn't figure it out. Apparently, he did better than I did because he sent it! Gotta go into settings. I wouldn't have thought of that it is usually pretty evident how to attach files. He is cute. He is self degragating at times like he mentioned he needed Just for men hair dye and his bout with cancer is defintely an issue for him because he brings it up alot. Its ok with me. Shit happens! He is well now and I know its part of his recent past so maybe its because it is sooo recent. So now I know who I am meeting so we are off to a good start. Our conversation didnt last long because he is early to bed early to rise.
So I went to bed but of course as usual I couldn't sleep. Maybe anxiety did it to me. Always worried I am not gonna wake up on time and I don't wanna get held up on a Monday when I just wanna be out the door. I left my stuff at work I will do my laundry there. It's such a pain in the butt to transport the very same clothes I am gonna wear again anyway home just to wash I will just buy some detergent to keep there with my stuff. Less than 12 hours til our meeting.
Jan 2 & 3
Mario continues to depend on me for getting up. My shoulder really hurts. That's my bad shoulder. I have to talk to his other caregiver and see how he deals with it. Maybe he assists him during the week and he expects it. He definitely deteriorates as the day wears on but that doesnt make it ok. Sunday was a good day. I actually persuaded (with the assistance of his daughter Saturday) to use his cable. I cut out the list of the Comcast cable channels out of the Sunday paper and taped them to the back of the remote so now he knows wht the channels are. Anything but Judge Judy. jeopardy i don't mind but 3 hours of straight judge shows will grate on anyones' nerves. Sunday we watched Goodfellas. It's been forever since I saw that movie and it was a nice refresher. I couldn't believe he actually didn't change the channel ONCE. And he made it through the entire movie! He is usually down for the count shortly after 8pm after flipping some channels. But he was up til 9pm til the very end of the movies. Nice end to a long weekend.
Monday morning flew by. One hour of work and I'm done. I even got to leave early because Earl got a ride to work again. I caught the early bus and took a cab home from the square. I wanted to get home early so I had time to take a leisurely shower and scrub the smell of Mario off me. He doesn't smell or anything and he is always clean but I just want the smell of hsi house off me. I wanna smell like me and my body wash and wrap myself in my nice puffy towels and linger around in my robe for a little bit and not have to rish to get dressed. John said he was an early bird and is up at the crack of dawn. He also said that he would probably be early which means I needed more cushion time to be comfortable. But I am getting ahead of myself.
I spoke to John after I put Mario to bed. It was brief but we discussed our plans for money to take the ride to Allentown. He was determined to send his picture in an email. Well, I looked at the Gmail spot and I couldn't figure it out. Apparently, he did better than I did because he sent it! Gotta go into settings. I wouldn't have thought of that it is usually pretty evident how to attach files. He is cute. He is self degragating at times like he mentioned he needed Just for men hair dye and his bout with cancer is defintely an issue for him because he brings it up alot. Its ok with me. Shit happens! He is well now and I know its part of his recent past so maybe its because it is sooo recent. So now I know who I am meeting so we are off to a good start. Our conversation didnt last long because he is early to bed early to rise.
So I went to bed but of course as usual I couldn't sleep. Maybe anxiety did it to me. Always worried I am not gonna wake up on time and I don't wanna get held up on a Monday when I just wanna be out the door. I left my stuff at work I will do my laundry there. It's such a pain in the butt to transport the very same clothes I am gonna wear again anyway home just to wash I will just buy some detergent to keep there with my stuff. Less than 12 hours til our meeting.
Friday, January 1, 2010
A new beginning...
Project 365 officially starts today. I currently can’t get internet service at work but I shall blog anyway and post later. I had a quiet New Years Eve. I was in bed by 9:30pm. Apparently, there were fireworks going off that my client heard. I thought it was a dream. I guess it was real?! I was tired. I never sleep well the night before I have to work. I get so anxious that I am going to oversleep that I can’t sleep at all.
Moving on...my client is driving me crazy today. And I took my meds so i can't blame my irritability on my Bipolar. he has peed every 15 minutes and peed his pants 3 times today. Not to mention, he wants to pull my arm out its socket because he doesnt want to do the work to stand up. I have completely been lifting his big ass up out his chair. Well I can't do it anymore and I told him he is hurting my back and I have 2 more days here. There is no reason for me to be going home sore. he can do it. He is just lazy!We did physical therapy yesterday and I think I did more work than he did. Its ot my job to move him around. That is the point of physical therapy to increase his range of motion so he can get around better. Maybe I am just irritable after having so many days off. I dont know. All I know is I guess he is gonna be peeing his pants alot more if he cant get his ass out of his chair! I can't be lifting him. He is bigger, taller and heavier! I have had other clients that were skinny and very light in those cases yes I can lift them but he is too big. Ok enough about that...God give me patience...
On a lighter note...there is John. I am really looking forward to meeting him on Monday. it is truly a blind date and I hope he is cute. Just a full rack of teeth would be great. I'm really not that superficial but I think anyone would agree that there has to be some sort of physical attraction. I wish he would send a picture so I kinda know what to expect. Could always be like Lisa Kudrow in PS I love you and get the kiss out of the way. The first 3 criteria have been met. Single? Yes Employed? Yes Gay? No so now the next step is the kiss. It will be a bold gesture, I know. But everything else hasn't helped or forged forward so why not take a chance? He texted me yesterday before going to his friend's house that lives in the sticks and he knew he would not have any service. I thought that was nice that he actually pulled over to text me. He stayed over at his friends' house and today went out for munchies in between the Penn State game and the Ohio State football game. Again, I thought it was nice for him to text me when he had service. It's the little things that make me happy. I am secure enough in myself for boys' nights. I think boys' and girls' nights out are healthy. His, Hers, and our time. I let him off the hook and told him I didnt want to keep him and I didn't.Let's see if he texts me when he gets home after the game. I think I might email him directions on sending a pic via his iPhone. May be I just should leave it alone. I went this far blindly and another couple days won't hurt.
Let's see what are my New Year's resolutions? First, I have my project 365, my personal therapy. It's linked to my twitter page so maybe people will follow me?
Speaking of following me just to digress for a moment. I haven't heard from Todd since he asked me for money to pay his cell phone bill. I don't understand? He seeks me out over a period of 5 years and says all these things and then falls of the face of the earth again. I am sooo glad I didn't go to AZ for Christmas because Lord knows I might have been ass out at the airport and be on my own for 6-10 days. I hope everything is okay in AZ will Todd and he is doing well. I hope he will move past his ego since I know it had to difficult to ask for monetary help, and calls me or emails me. I care about him dearly but i cannot support him financially. If I gave him money, if I had it, what does that do for me? I know that might sound selfish but seriously? We are 2700 miles away from each other and I just don't think that much of a gap is easy to overcome. I have let me go.
Resolution #2...stick to my diet! I have lost 20 pounds so far and I wanna melt the fat. I don't care about the weight number, per say, but i want to lose my way into a smaller wardrobe. I took a week off and i think being back at work is really helping me get back on track. At home, its so easy to fall back into the "easy" bad habits. That's what it boils down to! Convienence and fat run hand in hand. I am motivated and as the new year begins it is easy to eat at work because that's all the food there is. I don't normally eat whatever he eats anyway so it's easy to stick to my diet. On average after the weekend when i go home and weigh my self there is a 1-2 pound difference! So let's see how much more weight I can lose in the new year. Let's see if I can put on a nice bathing suit in the summer. That would be really nice to not feel so self conscious near water. We will see...
Resolution #3...actually use my treadmill. It has sat in my house for four years and I have barely touched it. Well now there is no excuse! It is in my room, I took it downstairs and it shouldnt be my clothes hanger! Next I have to bring down my filing cabinet and sewing table and finally bring Ariel's bunk bed upstairs. I want to make my office but I don't know how that is going to work with the modem? I will need to find out about that. Also I need to hook up the cable upstairs in the playroom since that's where Ariel will be watching TV. I probably won't even do it only because i cant get her dresser upstairs! I would need to buy her new dressers to put her clothes in if she totally moves upstairs. It's an option! But I don't see my office happening anytime soon but I'm running outta room in my bedroom for anything with my king size bed in there. There are some technical issues that need to be sorted out before the room changing begins. But that doesnt take away from the fact that I need to use my treadmill. See how that came full circle. Eventually anyway.
Well, it's 7:18pm which means that my client should be going to bed in the next hour to hour and a half. that means I can take my grumpy ass to bed and start fresh tomorrow. I need to go see Linda and tell her about my off sleeping patterns. Its a constant struggle, me and sleep. And! I need to get to the GYN and get my Depo shot. I know Depo is weight bearing but with my diet going on it's worth the piece of mind. I would eventually like to be in a monogamous relationship and maybe even consider having another child but that is a looooong way off. So, for now, hello Depo. Maybe I should call tomorrow? I don't know if they would be open but if anything I will call on Monday for a Tuesday appointment.
Good night all! I hope everyone has a great New Year and stick to your guns as I will be...I can be your cheerleader!
Moving on...my client is driving me crazy today. And I took my meds so i can't blame my irritability on my Bipolar. he has peed every 15 minutes and peed his pants 3 times today. Not to mention, he wants to pull my arm out its socket because he doesnt want to do the work to stand up. I have completely been lifting his big ass up out his chair. Well I can't do it anymore and I told him he is hurting my back and I have 2 more days here. There is no reason for me to be going home sore. he can do it. He is just lazy!We did physical therapy yesterday and I think I did more work than he did. Its ot my job to move him around. That is the point of physical therapy to increase his range of motion so he can get around better. Maybe I am just irritable after having so many days off. I dont know. All I know is I guess he is gonna be peeing his pants alot more if he cant get his ass out of his chair! I can't be lifting him. He is bigger, taller and heavier! I have had other clients that were skinny and very light in those cases yes I can lift them but he is too big. Ok enough about that...God give me patience...
On a lighter note...there is John. I am really looking forward to meeting him on Monday. it is truly a blind date and I hope he is cute. Just a full rack of teeth would be great. I'm really not that superficial but I think anyone would agree that there has to be some sort of physical attraction. I wish he would send a picture so I kinda know what to expect. Could always be like Lisa Kudrow in PS I love you and get the kiss out of the way. The first 3 criteria have been met. Single? Yes Employed? Yes Gay? No so now the next step is the kiss. It will be a bold gesture, I know. But everything else hasn't helped or forged forward so why not take a chance? He texted me yesterday before going to his friend's house that lives in the sticks and he knew he would not have any service. I thought that was nice that he actually pulled over to text me. He stayed over at his friends' house and today went out for munchies in between the Penn State game and the Ohio State football game. Again, I thought it was nice for him to text me when he had service. It's the little things that make me happy. I am secure enough in myself for boys' nights. I think boys' and girls' nights out are healthy. His, Hers, and our time. I let him off the hook and told him I didnt want to keep him and I didn't.Let's see if he texts me when he gets home after the game. I think I might email him directions on sending a pic via his iPhone. May be I just should leave it alone. I went this far blindly and another couple days won't hurt.
Let's see what are my New Year's resolutions? First, I have my project 365, my personal therapy. It's linked to my twitter page so maybe people will follow me?
Speaking of following me just to digress for a moment. I haven't heard from Todd since he asked me for money to pay his cell phone bill. I don't understand? He seeks me out over a period of 5 years and says all these things and then falls of the face of the earth again. I am sooo glad I didn't go to AZ for Christmas because Lord knows I might have been ass out at the airport and be on my own for 6-10 days. I hope everything is okay in AZ will Todd and he is doing well. I hope he will move past his ego since I know it had to difficult to ask for monetary help, and calls me or emails me. I care about him dearly but i cannot support him financially. If I gave him money, if I had it, what does that do for me? I know that might sound selfish but seriously? We are 2700 miles away from each other and I just don't think that much of a gap is easy to overcome. I have let me go.
Resolution #2...stick to my diet! I have lost 20 pounds so far and I wanna melt the fat. I don't care about the weight number, per say, but i want to lose my way into a smaller wardrobe. I took a week off and i think being back at work is really helping me get back on track. At home, its so easy to fall back into the "easy" bad habits. That's what it boils down to! Convienence and fat run hand in hand. I am motivated and as the new year begins it is easy to eat at work because that's all the food there is. I don't normally eat whatever he eats anyway so it's easy to stick to my diet. On average after the weekend when i go home and weigh my self there is a 1-2 pound difference! So let's see how much more weight I can lose in the new year. Let's see if I can put on a nice bathing suit in the summer. That would be really nice to not feel so self conscious near water. We will see...
Resolution #3...actually use my treadmill. It has sat in my house for four years and I have barely touched it. Well now there is no excuse! It is in my room, I took it downstairs and it shouldnt be my clothes hanger! Next I have to bring down my filing cabinet and sewing table and finally bring Ariel's bunk bed upstairs. I want to make my office but I don't know how that is going to work with the modem? I will need to find out about that. Also I need to hook up the cable upstairs in the playroom since that's where Ariel will be watching TV. I probably won't even do it only because i cant get her dresser upstairs! I would need to buy her new dressers to put her clothes in if she totally moves upstairs. It's an option! But I don't see my office happening anytime soon but I'm running outta room in my bedroom for anything with my king size bed in there. There are some technical issues that need to be sorted out before the room changing begins. But that doesnt take away from the fact that I need to use my treadmill. See how that came full circle. Eventually anyway.
Well, it's 7:18pm which means that my client should be going to bed in the next hour to hour and a half. that means I can take my grumpy ass to bed and start fresh tomorrow. I need to go see Linda and tell her about my off sleeping patterns. Its a constant struggle, me and sleep. And! I need to get to the GYN and get my Depo shot. I know Depo is weight bearing but with my diet going on it's worth the piece of mind. I would eventually like to be in a monogamous relationship and maybe even consider having another child but that is a looooong way off. So, for now, hello Depo. Maybe I should call tomorrow? I don't know if they would be open but if anything I will call on Monday for a Tuesday appointment.
Good night all! I hope everyone has a great New Year and stick to your guns as I will be...I can be your cheerleader!
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